it's a wonderful life

... and the best part is i didn't have to almost die to realize it.

a rare family shot in which none of us are noticeably crying.

this was in estes park, colorado. we were there for a friend's wedding and daddy took advantage of the setting to run a 5 mile trail race at some crazy altitude that made my lungs burn for a week.

more from colorado...

mommy in her natural setting.  someday, baby... i promise.

 frontrunner for cutest picture of the century.

proof that these two stand out in any setting.

"Baby Parade!"

ellen with her friend janel. the two were roommates when they were both river guides in colorado. and for the record, i checked back through all the entries in this blog and yes, that was by far the coolest sentence i've ever written.

back home there were a couple of pretty big "firsts" for the kids that are well worth mentioning...

parker's first day at montessori school...

this ain't your grandmother's pre-school! unless your grandmother was maria montessori... then i stand corrected.

EXTREMELY FUN FACT: i get to walk parker to school everyday, by which i mean "carry him on my shoulders as we walk along first avenue making up lyrics to songs that never existed in the first place."

it’s easily the best part of my day.

first field trip

mommy went with him to a pumpkin patch where he also took his first pony ride, though judging from the look on its face i'd say it wasn't a first for the actual pony.

 baby Z's first taste of ice cream

these honors, as has become our family's custom, went to steve spang (of the carlisle spangs). it's an extremely easy job without a stitch of resistance for which you receive a lifetime of appreciation... but somebody's gotta do it! (for the record: vanilla. not sure if she got any of the cake.)

first halloween

even though auntie sus calls her "peanut", she opted for being a pumpkin which happens to be auntie sus's nickname for parker but he was too busy during this particular holiday serving as one of new york's bravest...

though "bravery" in this instance consisted mainly of eating enough candy to save several other kids from having tummy aches of their own.  again, somebody's gotta do it.

and finally...

first time getting caught shredding the toilet paper

for weeks we thought it was the cat, but then we realized we don't have a cat.  mystery solved.

it should be noted that unlike her brother who was a purist when it came to “butt scooching”, baby Z is a first class crawler who is also already standing for a few seconds without holding onto anything. that means walking is right around the corner (see next blog entry) but until then, parker seems perfectly happy to see to it that she...

GET AROUND SAFELY

(http://bit.ly/TR6jQR)

in fact, it turns out baby Z might just be in much safer hands when she's with her brother on the streets of new york than when she's with her daddy in...

 AN OTHERWISE SAFE PLAYGROUND ENVIRONMENT

(http://bit.ly/TQYIla)

along with face-planting at the playground, baby Z also is not crazy about getting dressed or having her diaper changed.  she twists and turns and wiggles and wails, and when all else fails she stiffens up like a board that’s been sitting in a freezer for a week. think about trying to give a cat a bath. now think of having to do that 9 times a day. now go take a nap. oh, wait! you don't get to take naps.  now welcome to our world.

but the love is undeniable...

if you noticed something different about the above pictures, it's probably that they were taken with something other than an iPhone. this is thanks to the multi-talented mr. david schonbrun, or as i like to call him, mr. eliza spang. they're own baby is due around christmas.  best of luck schonbrun-spangs! if you guys need any fancy iPhone pictures taken just say the word!

and thank you to the mystery taker of my favorite picture in this particular blog entry...

reveal yourself, mystery photographer! (i think it was susan helms.)

EMBARRASSING PHOTO ALERT!!

(oops.  too late.)

post hurricane sandy

the water was over the center divider shutting down the FDR to anything but jet skis... until the next day.

among the many fantastic visits we got from friends and family over the past few months none quite resulted in this level of photographically-captured love and joy...

ellen, Z, margaret and eli

(idea for world peace: make this everyone in the world's screensaver.)

as for mommy and daddy, we're both still working our butts off on a week-daily basis but thankfully we're doing things that we love. can't ask for more than that.
ellen did get a couple of well-earned breaks. in early november she flew off to scott and shelley's wedding in south carolina while i stayed back and watched the little ones.  that was a first for me. and it was a learning experience that i used a couple weeks later when ellen drove off with auntie sus to go to a guitar/banjo/mandolin "jam camp" near boston for a weekend. baby Z did me the great favor of sleeping through most of the nights i was alone with them which means the biggest challenge i had was how to get two kids and a dog out the front door for a walk when it's 30 degrees out and the only one who really wants to go is the dog.
answer: as quickly as possible.
fortunately, the local barnes&noble has a play section you can go to when it's too cold to be outside. it was a common destination for me during my "single daddy" experience and it was...

FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY

(http://bit.ly/YBl5mk)

i'm beginning to think you all deserve a nice song.
this time around it's a beautiful little gem i stumbled on by Keb' Mo' which is short for "kevin moore" which doesn't explain the "b" but that's neither here nor there. it's called "life is beautiful" and it always makes me think of my family.
dig it...

life is beautiful
life is wondrous
every star above
is shining just for us
life is beautiful
on a stormy night
somewhere in the world
the sun is shinin' bright

the end...

4 years ago today...

... ellen and i got married.

happy anniversary baby.

the wedding was a celebration not soon forgotten which is not to say that the celebrating hasn't continued, most recently with the 5 month birthday (is that even a thing?) of our latest, one miss zoila mckenzie havlan.

likes:
putting her fist in her mouth
"standing" on daddy
looking around
(in that order)

trying to narrow down the highlights of the last 4 months is like trying to pick a favorite beatles song – it’s not easy is what i’m saying.

but here’s a good start…

the whole family on the beach in pacifica, ca, during a visit to uncle glenn, aunt lizz and cousin reuben.  yes, baby Z slept through the excitement but trust me when I tell you she’s far more likely these days to be awake and smiling…

and maybe wearing some patriotic headgear depending mainly on whether or not it's july 4th.

as you can plainly see the evolution of our little lady's personality is well under way.  she is happy and delightful and strong and playful and most of all she is loved.  she also happens to have the neck muscles of an ox... a beautiful ox. (again, is that a thing?)
settling on a name continues to confound us mainly because we genuinely like all the options, but for now both ellen and i are pretty much going with “Z”.  whether that turns into “Zoila” “Zoe” or “mckenZie” might just be up to her, but the common thread is the “Z”.  oh, and parker calls her "baby sister", which... is... a… dorable!

of course, the previously mentioned west coast trip also meant a visit with the west coast thomases which included parker’s first sailing experience.

mental note: clear a place on the mantle for the inevitable appearance of the america’s cup.  watch your ass, golden gate yacht club!  these kid-sailors are serious!

ellen also gathered the troops for their first visit to daddy’s work at the daily show and that meant Z’s first brush with fame…

either that’s her with television’s jon stewart or the backdrops at olin mills have gotten amazing.

then it was time for a visit in daddy’s office.

fun fact: that weird, colorful piece of “art” behind us is actually a piece from the original set of the daily show.  i’ve been dragging it around with me for over 16 years now.  true story.

also, the name plate glued to the top of my computer screen says “Gloria Delgado, Librarian” - a memento of the grandma who would have loved these two kids with all her gigantic heart.  and the same, i'm sure, would have gone for bob and carol and speed.

VERY FORTUNATELY, we are blessed with what the southerners call "kin".
soon after Z was born we were once again privileged beyond all privilege to get a life-saving multi-week stay from the irreplaceable aunt pam.

pam's patience and love and attention to all four of us was like manna from wherever it is you get the best manna these days.

and while we’re on the topic of loving super-aunts…

here's our little gal on the beach at fire island with the immeasurably helpful and patient and generous and energetic and always stupendorifous auntie sus.

i am eternally grateful to have these lovely ladies in my life.

and that goes for uncle alan as well who is a constant example of how true success is measured in how much you share it - even if it means having 4 boisterous kids stomping around your "vacation" home for weeks at a time.

the fantastic four enjoying the ferry ride from fire island back to (un)civilization.  hopefully they will all one day look back on this moment with the fondness that i have for it today.

now then, let’s move on for a bit to the man in my life…

no.

the other one.

that’s the one!

though if it’s a future heartthrob you’re looking for, look no further…

with cousin emeline in boston

somebody warn the cops because these two are going to steal a record number of hearts!

thankfully, the movie star qualities don't keep the little man from helping out in the garden...

our oasis on 53rd street

and yes, the baby-like object “relaxing” on the couch in the background is actually our baby.
and yes, there's a good chance she's currently making some "fertilizer".

daddy also reconfigured the terrace, installed some padding, and created a self-contained play area especially for the…

FUTURE SPORTS STARS OF TOMORROW

(http://bit.ly/PKIYBk)

and now it’s time for… parker highlights!

- he can jump* now!

(* “jump” = both feet coming any distance off the ground at the same time.)

- he loves going to the playground and hanging from anything he can get his hands on.

- he says “look!” all the time and points sort of randomly making it hard to tell what he wants you to look at.  we’re also getting a lot of “why?” and “what’s that?”  standard answers: “because” and “ask your mother.”

- unlike last summer it’s nearly impossible these days to keep him out of the water.  his favorite game seems to be “try to drown daddy”.

oh, and there’s also... 

THIS GAME

(http://bit.ly/OeAN0B)

also...

- potty training is happening albeit with slightly mixed results, though it’s amazing what a two-and-a-half year old will do if he knows an M&M is his prize.

- he watched his first movie!  “how to train your dragon”.  it was out at fire island with hana and kobi.  this is confirmed documentation…

ever since that night, parker has made a habit of telling ellen and me to “be careful of toothless”.  it’s the kind of stuff the word “cute” was created for.

and speaking of mommy and daddy, it’s time for…

what’s going on with mommy and daddy!?

courtesy our lovely friend sara mayti
a true professional

despite our new even-busier family life schedule we are both making a fine habit of getting out of the house on a regular basis thanks to each other’s help along with an army of fantastic baby sitters. 

we have nice dinners together.  we go to plays with friends – the latest was "venus in fur” with mark and shannon.  front row center!  it was great.  and since we’re on the topic of mark and shannon, may as well include that they took us to a shooting range in new jersey…

with M&S - armed but not dangerous

it was my first time ever shooting a gun.

was it kind of fun?  yes.

did it make me want to run out and join an unnamed but nationally recognized rifle-based association?  no. 

also...

daddy's diving mouth first back in to stand-up comedy (by popular demand of course).  mommy was the head chef at the kushi institute's summer conference for the 4th year in a row and knocked it out of the park as usual.  daddy still plays poker with his "poker buddies" (almost) every monday night - thank you mommy!  mommy already lost all of her baby weight, looks amazing, and is training for a possible shot at this year's nyc marathon.  daddy's golf game is... not discussed in public.  mommy continues to show amazing patience and stamina and imagination in the extra time she spends with the little ones.  and finally, daddy found out last week that his boss has signed yet another contract through june 2015 which is good because i love my job and i'm forever grateful that it allows my family to have a comfortable, fulfilling life in this amazing city.

time for a song, wouldn't you agree?
there's only one choice for this entry especially since i skipped the song for Z's original entry:
"isn't she lovely" by the one and only stevie wonder.
dig it...

isn't she lovely
isn't she wonderful
isn't she precious
less than one minute old
i never thought through love we'd be
making one as lovely as she
but isn't she lovely made from love

signed,
lucky daddy

NEW ARRIVAL! - 1 month later

and so it was that parker delgado havlan found his lifelong partner in crime fighting.zoila mckenzie havlan was born a month ago into a family already filled with love but ready and willing to have our love cups runneth over... which they have.
(mental note: buy love cups with lids.)
as you can plainly see, she's as cute as can be. quite the little pin-up! okay, yes, she's a bit of a crier, by which i mean she cries pretty much anytime she's not lying on top of her mother. but she's a baby! what would you have her do!? truth be told, i'm also prone to crying whenever ellen isn't holding me. so i guess we have that in common.
FAQ #1: what are we actually going to call her?
answer: though ellen and i love the name "zoila" we both agree that it may cause our little girl some future trouble in the "how do you spell that?", the "how do you pronounce that?" and the "say that again?" departments. so we narrowed it down to Zoe and Kenzie with ellen leaning toward Kenzie and me leaning toward Zoe. i "gave in" (since i mainly just call her "Z" anyway and that fits as a nickname for both of them) but now i'm back on the fence. an update will soon follow. keeping in mind, of course, that she will be free to change it at some point to "Princess Elbowfingers" or "J.R." or something stupid like that. exciting, right!?
FAQ #2: how's parker taking all this?
the answer at this point: very well.
he often asks to "hold the baby", though he never lasts too long before he's pushing her away like a king who's unpleased with his meal. we'll see soon enough how that pans out. but he's also been learning how to give kisses, and his baby sister is a common target. (see picture at end of announcement.) it's awful nice... minus the awful.
quick note on parker d - his staggering love of music continues unabated. "mommy" has since been replaced with "violin" as his most frequent if not constant "first word of the day".
and he's backing up his talk with some...
SERIOUS JAMS
(http://bit.ly/xEqQAe)
a special shout out to uncle ed for playing second fiddle, or in this case, first guitar.

more on the growing family unit in the near future, but for now i'll keep it simple.
first, the beginning stages of a potentially long-term photo project.

Day 1...
Week 1...
Week 2...
Week 3...
Week 4...she's got her brother's appetite! and with that, his cheeks.

and once again for prosperity's sake, the official birth announcement of the world's very latest superhero baby...

****

from the team that brought you "parker delgado havlan",
in conjunction with new york-presbyterian/weill cornell medical center,
(without additional funding by the john d. and catherine t. macarthur foundation)

ellen jackson thomas and j robertson havlan are proud to announce the world premiere of their beautiful baby girl...Zoila McKenzie Havlan
2-17-2012

"Zoila" after her grandmother on daddy's side, and "McKenzie" because her mommy always liked that name... and because "Lady Gaga" seemed too obvious.

you all know the story of parker d - he was supposed to be born at home, but after an "indiana jones"-like thrill ride, ended up at the hospital.
the story of little Z-Mac* - as she may or may not be known if she ever becomes a professional snowboarder - is different, but no less exciting.
(* "Z-Mac" is copyright protected. take that, final generation of apple computers!)

no attempt at home birth this time. hospital and drugs all the way. who am i to say no?
here it is in a nutshell.
ellen called me as i was walking home from work on thursday and said "my water broke. i think we're having a baby", adding, "can you walk a little faster?"
so i did.
but when i got home she was calmly packing a few necessities, asked me to do the same, and then asked me to go downstairs and put the wash in the dryer.
so i did.
our favorite baby sitter, taryn, got to our apartment so fast we think she might have been hanging around out front. then ellen and i finished packing, folded the laundry - don't want everything to wrinkle - said goodnight to parker, and walked the 15 blocks to the hospital.
the girl loves her walks.

turns out Z was just as calm about the whole thing as we were and decided to make us wait for a bit. perhaps having me and auntie sus, who was there for the whole thing, spend the night trying to sleep sitting up in hospital chairs was our new baby's first practical joke. and if so... well played, young apprentice. well played.
so flash-forward to 9am the next morning. that's when the pushing started. and at 9:42 (that's some good pushin'!) i pulled up a front row seat for the most amazing show i've ever seen - and yes, i've seen "the godfather" and "the godfather: part 2".
no c-section this time around. and without getting into details, may i just say...
YOWZA!

spectacular and unforgettable.
ellen was even more awesome than usual, taking everything in stride, and giving me a first hand look at why she's been taking all those pre-natal yoga classes. pavanamuktasana indeed!
of course, i realize ellen isn't the first woman ever to give birth, but as the loving husband and doting father, it's my job to run around for at least a few days pretending she is.

as for my part in the actual proceedings, i yelled "push" a few times, gave ellen water out of a squeeze bottle like i was a corner man at a boxing match, and when all was said and done, i got to cut the umbilical cord. that was a big moment for me. totally amazing. though i have to admit i was a little bummed out i didn't get to use a pair of those giant novelty scissors small town mayors use when they unveil a new park bench or top-of-the-line self-serve car wash.
can't have it all.
i know that now.

and please don't tell anybody this - our little secret - but right after she arrived, i quickly published a birth announcement in a kenyan newspaper in the event little Z ever decides to run for president there. ya gotta plan ahead for these kinds of things.
(insert evil laugh of your choosing here)

for the record, zoila mckenzie was a relatively tiny 6.5 pounds and was born in the year of the dragon at the height of LINsanity!
that's what i call support for the home team.

and finally, big brother came for a visit later that day and he welcomed his sister into our lives with a hug and a kiss...that's what i call love for the home team. :)

2 years − "i wan' doit!"

translation: “i want to do it.” that’s little man’s favorite phrase these days. trying to help him do something, regardless of how complicated it is, is quickly met with an authoritative “i wan’ doit!” at which point we let him “doit”… unless he wants to drive. we don’t let him “dothat”.

but more importantly,
parker delgado havlan has successfully reached “the big 2−0!"
(minus the “0”).
this is said to be a terrible period, but you can’t spell “terrible” without “elite… brr”.
think about it.
aunt sus provided the tiny cupcakes as well as the little man's favorite new thing in the world...
giant elmo doll!
parker likes to pretend he's feeding him and giving him water. it's very generous albeit completely ridiculous on a practical basis.

a few highlights...
halloween with the cousins.
this year kobi went as a stormtrooper on a smoke break, hana went as a peacock that may or may not have just robbed a bank, and parker went as a little boy who loves to wear his parrot outfit but doesn’t care much for the hat part of it.
i think they all nailed it.

the year of the traveling poopy pants continued as parker and mommy headed to california once again for a quick visit with family (for halloween, see above) and then daddy joined in for a long weekend in north carolina with our friends, the seilers.
with robert seiler.
if grant wood were alive today he probably would have wanted to paint this.
it was very rustic. we even got to ride on a deer!
sorry, make that A "DEERE".
(http://bit.ly/GOsnsr)

then it was off to atlanta to visit aunt pam and uncle atta…
and with parker clearly happy as can be with his surroundings, mommy and daddy snuck off to...
belize!
this was at the mouth of the 5 km long Actun Tunichil Muknal cave.
and yes, you swim into it.
and also yes, there’s a totally intact incan skeleton inside it.
historically creepy!

the belize trip was 6 full days and it was awesome.
BUT... we genuinely missed our little man almost immediately.
BUT... we also took a LOT of naps and each finished two books, so...

then it was back to atlanta where we were joined by parker’s favorite bostonian girl,
emeline.
jackson was there too, but this was just the cutest picture i could find.
sorry jackson!

for the record, parker wasn't the only one to have FUN IN ATLANTA.
(http://bit.ly/H1qfMT)

by the way,
this is just one reason it’s so easy to travel with parker.

and this…
is what all that travelling does to you.

but since christmas was comin' up there was still one trip left.
in keeping with our now 2−year streak of christmas in the tropics...
CLUB MED DOMINICAN REPUBLIC
(http://bit.ly/GOsC6J)

the usual crowd joined us - "big" parker, hae-sin, speed, hana, kobi, sus and alan - and the usual blast was had.
unfortunately we'll have to wait for the humidity of new york summer for the little man's hair to curl up like that again, but it sure was cute while it lasted.

as for this edition's song, i thought i'd go all the way back to the year of my own birth...
(1964 - not a typo)
it's a soulful little groove by lee rogers called "i want you to have everything".
dig it...

i want you to have everything
i want you to wake up in the morning
and listen to the robin sing
i want you to lay down in the evening
don't worry 'bout a doggone thing

i'd say "that's gospel", but it's actually r&b.
it's also exactly how i feel whenever i look at my little man.