4 years ago today...

... ellen and i got married.

happy anniversary baby.

the wedding was a celebration not soon forgotten which is not to say that the celebrating hasn't continued, most recently with the 5 month birthday (is that even a thing?) of our latest, one miss zoila mckenzie havlan.

likes:
putting her fist in her mouth
"standing" on daddy
looking around
(in that order)

trying to narrow down the highlights of the last 4 months is like trying to pick a favorite beatles song – it’s not easy is what i’m saying.

but here’s a good start…

the whole family on the beach in pacifica, ca, during a visit to uncle glenn, aunt lizz and cousin reuben.  yes, baby Z slept through the excitement but trust me when I tell you she’s far more likely these days to be awake and smiling…

and maybe wearing some patriotic headgear depending mainly on whether or not it's july 4th.

as you can plainly see the evolution of our little lady's personality is well under way.  she is happy and delightful and strong and playful and most of all she is loved.  she also happens to have the neck muscles of an ox... a beautiful ox. (again, is that a thing?)
settling on a name continues to confound us mainly because we genuinely like all the options, but for now both ellen and i are pretty much going with “Z”.  whether that turns into “Zoila” “Zoe” or “mckenZie” might just be up to her, but the common thread is the “Z”.  oh, and parker calls her "baby sister", which... is... a… dorable!

of course, the previously mentioned west coast trip also meant a visit with the west coast thomases which included parker’s first sailing experience.

mental note: clear a place on the mantle for the inevitable appearance of the america’s cup.  watch your ass, golden gate yacht club!  these kid-sailors are serious!

ellen also gathered the troops for their first visit to daddy’s work at the daily show and that meant Z’s first brush with fame…

either that’s her with television’s jon stewart or the backdrops at olin mills have gotten amazing.

then it was time for a visit in daddy’s office.

fun fact: that weird, colorful piece of “art” behind us is actually a piece from the original set of the daily show.  i’ve been dragging it around with me for over 16 years now.  true story.

also, the name plate glued to the top of my computer screen says “Gloria Delgado, Librarian” - a memento of the grandma who would have loved these two kids with all her gigantic heart.  and the same, i'm sure, would have gone for bob and carol and speed.

VERY FORTUNATELY, we are blessed with what the southerners call "kin".
soon after Z was born we were once again privileged beyond all privilege to get a life-saving multi-week stay from the irreplaceable aunt pam.

pam's patience and love and attention to all four of us was like manna from wherever it is you get the best manna these days.

and while we’re on the topic of loving super-aunts…

here's our little gal on the beach at fire island with the immeasurably helpful and patient and generous and energetic and always stupendorifous auntie sus.

i am eternally grateful to have these lovely ladies in my life.

and that goes for uncle alan as well who is a constant example of how true success is measured in how much you share it - even if it means having 4 boisterous kids stomping around your "vacation" home for weeks at a time.

the fantastic four enjoying the ferry ride from fire island back to (un)civilization.  hopefully they will all one day look back on this moment with the fondness that i have for it today.

now then, let’s move on for a bit to the man in my life…

no.

the other one.

that’s the one!

though if it’s a future heartthrob you’re looking for, look no further…

with cousin emeline in boston

somebody warn the cops because these two are going to steal a record number of hearts!

thankfully, the movie star qualities don't keep the little man from helping out in the garden...

our oasis on 53rd street

and yes, the baby-like object “relaxing” on the couch in the background is actually our baby.
and yes, there's a good chance she's currently making some "fertilizer".

daddy also reconfigured the terrace, installed some padding, and created a self-contained play area especially for the…

FUTURE SPORTS STARS OF TOMORROW

(http://bit.ly/PKIYBk)

and now it’s time for… parker highlights!

- he can jump* now!

(* “jump” = both feet coming any distance off the ground at the same time.)

- he loves going to the playground and hanging from anything he can get his hands on.

- he says “look!” all the time and points sort of randomly making it hard to tell what he wants you to look at.  we’re also getting a lot of “why?” and “what’s that?”  standard answers: “because” and “ask your mother.”

- unlike last summer it’s nearly impossible these days to keep him out of the water.  his favorite game seems to be “try to drown daddy”.

oh, and there’s also... 

THIS GAME

(http://bit.ly/OeAN0B)

also...

- potty training is happening albeit with slightly mixed results, though it’s amazing what a two-and-a-half year old will do if he knows an M&M is his prize.

- he watched his first movie!  “how to train your dragon”.  it was out at fire island with hana and kobi.  this is confirmed documentation…

ever since that night, parker has made a habit of telling ellen and me to “be careful of toothless”.  it’s the kind of stuff the word “cute” was created for.

and speaking of mommy and daddy, it’s time for…

what’s going on with mommy and daddy!?

courtesy our lovely friend sara mayti
a true professional

despite our new even-busier family life schedule we are both making a fine habit of getting out of the house on a regular basis thanks to each other’s help along with an army of fantastic baby sitters. 

we have nice dinners together.  we go to plays with friends – the latest was "venus in fur” with mark and shannon.  front row center!  it was great.  and since we’re on the topic of mark and shannon, may as well include that they took us to a shooting range in new jersey…

with M&S - armed but not dangerous

it was my first time ever shooting a gun.

was it kind of fun?  yes.

did it make me want to run out and join an unnamed but nationally recognized rifle-based association?  no. 

also...

daddy's diving mouth first back in to stand-up comedy (by popular demand of course).  mommy was the head chef at the kushi institute's summer conference for the 4th year in a row and knocked it out of the park as usual.  daddy still plays poker with his "poker buddies" (almost) every monday night - thank you mommy!  mommy already lost all of her baby weight, looks amazing, and is training for a possible shot at this year's nyc marathon.  daddy's golf game is... not discussed in public.  mommy continues to show amazing patience and stamina and imagination in the extra time she spends with the little ones.  and finally, daddy found out last week that his boss has signed yet another contract through june 2015 which is good because i love my job and i'm forever grateful that it allows my family to have a comfortable, fulfilling life in this amazing city.

time for a song, wouldn't you agree?
there's only one choice for this entry especially since i skipped the song for Z's original entry:
"isn't she lovely" by the one and only stevie wonder.
dig it...

isn't she lovely
isn't she wonderful
isn't she precious
less than one minute old
i never thought through love we'd be
making one as lovely as she
but isn't she lovely made from love

signed,
lucky daddy

NEW ARRIVAL! - 1 month later

and so it was that parker delgado havlan found his lifelong partner in crime fighting.zoila mckenzie havlan was born a month ago into a family already filled with love but ready and willing to have our love cups runneth over... which they have.
(mental note: buy love cups with lids.)
as you can plainly see, she's as cute as can be. quite the little pin-up! okay, yes, she's a bit of a crier, by which i mean she cries pretty much anytime she's not lying on top of her mother. but she's a baby! what would you have her do!? truth be told, i'm also prone to crying whenever ellen isn't holding me. so i guess we have that in common.
FAQ #1: what are we actually going to call her?
answer: though ellen and i love the name "zoila" we both agree that it may cause our little girl some future trouble in the "how do you spell that?", the "how do you pronounce that?" and the "say that again?" departments. so we narrowed it down to Zoe and Kenzie with ellen leaning toward Kenzie and me leaning toward Zoe. i "gave in" (since i mainly just call her "Z" anyway and that fits as a nickname for both of them) but now i'm back on the fence. an update will soon follow. keeping in mind, of course, that she will be free to change it at some point to "Princess Elbowfingers" or "J.R." or something stupid like that. exciting, right!?
FAQ #2: how's parker taking all this?
the answer at this point: very well.
he often asks to "hold the baby", though he never lasts too long before he's pushing her away like a king who's unpleased with his meal. we'll see soon enough how that pans out. but he's also been learning how to give kisses, and his baby sister is a common target. (see picture at end of announcement.) it's awful nice... minus the awful.
quick note on parker d - his staggering love of music continues unabated. "mommy" has since been replaced with "violin" as his most frequent if not constant "first word of the day".
and he's backing up his talk with some...
SERIOUS JAMS
(http://bit.ly/xEqQAe)
a special shout out to uncle ed for playing second fiddle, or in this case, first guitar.

more on the growing family unit in the near future, but for now i'll keep it simple.
first, the beginning stages of a potentially long-term photo project.

Day 1...
Week 1...
Week 2...
Week 3...
Week 4...she's got her brother's appetite! and with that, his cheeks.

and once again for prosperity's sake, the official birth announcement of the world's very latest superhero baby...

****

from the team that brought you "parker delgado havlan",
in conjunction with new york-presbyterian/weill cornell medical center,
(without additional funding by the john d. and catherine t. macarthur foundation)

ellen jackson thomas and j robertson havlan are proud to announce the world premiere of their beautiful baby girl...Zoila McKenzie Havlan
2-17-2012

"Zoila" after her grandmother on daddy's side, and "McKenzie" because her mommy always liked that name... and because "Lady Gaga" seemed too obvious.

you all know the story of parker d - he was supposed to be born at home, but after an "indiana jones"-like thrill ride, ended up at the hospital.
the story of little Z-Mac* - as she may or may not be known if she ever becomes a professional snowboarder - is different, but no less exciting.
(* "Z-Mac" is copyright protected. take that, final generation of apple computers!)

no attempt at home birth this time. hospital and drugs all the way. who am i to say no?
here it is in a nutshell.
ellen called me as i was walking home from work on thursday and said "my water broke. i think we're having a baby", adding, "can you walk a little faster?"
so i did.
but when i got home she was calmly packing a few necessities, asked me to do the same, and then asked me to go downstairs and put the wash in the dryer.
so i did.
our favorite baby sitter, taryn, got to our apartment so fast we think she might have been hanging around out front. then ellen and i finished packing, folded the laundry - don't want everything to wrinkle - said goodnight to parker, and walked the 15 blocks to the hospital.
the girl loves her walks.

turns out Z was just as calm about the whole thing as we were and decided to make us wait for a bit. perhaps having me and auntie sus, who was there for the whole thing, spend the night trying to sleep sitting up in hospital chairs was our new baby's first practical joke. and if so... well played, young apprentice. well played.
so flash-forward to 9am the next morning. that's when the pushing started. and at 9:42 (that's some good pushin'!) i pulled up a front row seat for the most amazing show i've ever seen - and yes, i've seen "the godfather" and "the godfather: part 2".
no c-section this time around. and without getting into details, may i just say...
YOWZA!

spectacular and unforgettable.
ellen was even more awesome than usual, taking everything in stride, and giving me a first hand look at why she's been taking all those pre-natal yoga classes. pavanamuktasana indeed!
of course, i realize ellen isn't the first woman ever to give birth, but as the loving husband and doting father, it's my job to run around for at least a few days pretending she is.

as for my part in the actual proceedings, i yelled "push" a few times, gave ellen water out of a squeeze bottle like i was a corner man at a boxing match, and when all was said and done, i got to cut the umbilical cord. that was a big moment for me. totally amazing. though i have to admit i was a little bummed out i didn't get to use a pair of those giant novelty scissors small town mayors use when they unveil a new park bench or top-of-the-line self-serve car wash.
can't have it all.
i know that now.

and please don't tell anybody this - our little secret - but right after she arrived, i quickly published a birth announcement in a kenyan newspaper in the event little Z ever decides to run for president there. ya gotta plan ahead for these kinds of things.
(insert evil laugh of your choosing here)

for the record, zoila mckenzie was a relatively tiny 6.5 pounds and was born in the year of the dragon at the height of LINsanity!
that's what i call support for the home team.

and finally, big brother came for a visit later that day and he welcomed his sister into our lives with a hug and a kiss...that's what i call love for the home team. :)

2 years − "i wan' doit!"

translation: “i want to do it.” that’s little man’s favorite phrase these days. trying to help him do something, regardless of how complicated it is, is quickly met with an authoritative “i wan’ doit!” at which point we let him “doit”… unless he wants to drive. we don’t let him “dothat”.

but more importantly,
parker delgado havlan has successfully reached “the big 2−0!"
(minus the “0”).
this is said to be a terrible period, but you can’t spell “terrible” without “elite… brr”.
think about it.
aunt sus provided the tiny cupcakes as well as the little man's favorite new thing in the world...
giant elmo doll!
parker likes to pretend he's feeding him and giving him water. it's very generous albeit completely ridiculous on a practical basis.

a few highlights...
halloween with the cousins.
this year kobi went as a stormtrooper on a smoke break, hana went as a peacock that may or may not have just robbed a bank, and parker went as a little boy who loves to wear his parrot outfit but doesn’t care much for the hat part of it.
i think they all nailed it.

the year of the traveling poopy pants continued as parker and mommy headed to california once again for a quick visit with family (for halloween, see above) and then daddy joined in for a long weekend in north carolina with our friends, the seilers.
with robert seiler.
if grant wood were alive today he probably would have wanted to paint this.
it was very rustic. we even got to ride on a deer!
sorry, make that A "DEERE".
(http://bit.ly/GOsnsr)

then it was off to atlanta to visit aunt pam and uncle atta…
and with parker clearly happy as can be with his surroundings, mommy and daddy snuck off to...
belize!
this was at the mouth of the 5 km long Actun Tunichil Muknal cave.
and yes, you swim into it.
and also yes, there’s a totally intact incan skeleton inside it.
historically creepy!

the belize trip was 6 full days and it was awesome.
BUT... we genuinely missed our little man almost immediately.
BUT... we also took a LOT of naps and each finished two books, so...

then it was back to atlanta where we were joined by parker’s favorite bostonian girl,
emeline.
jackson was there too, but this was just the cutest picture i could find.
sorry jackson!

for the record, parker wasn't the only one to have FUN IN ATLANTA.
(http://bit.ly/H1qfMT)

by the way,
this is just one reason it’s so easy to travel with parker.

and this…
is what all that travelling does to you.

but since christmas was comin' up there was still one trip left.
in keeping with our now 2−year streak of christmas in the tropics...
CLUB MED DOMINICAN REPUBLIC
(http://bit.ly/GOsC6J)

the usual crowd joined us - "big" parker, hae-sin, speed, hana, kobi, sus and alan - and the usual blast was had.
unfortunately we'll have to wait for the humidity of new york summer for the little man's hair to curl up like that again, but it sure was cute while it lasted.

as for this edition's song, i thought i'd go all the way back to the year of my own birth...
(1964 - not a typo)
it's a soulful little groove by lee rogers called "i want you to have everything".
dig it...

i want you to have everything
i want you to wake up in the morning
and listen to the robin sing
i want you to lay down in the evening
don't worry 'bout a doggone thing

i'd say "that's gospel", but it's actually r&b.
it's also exactly how i feel whenever i look at my little man.

21 months - my sweet, embraceable uke

in a previous post i mentioned that our little man has taken a shine to his ukelele which we basically just call a guitar even though that's wrong. fact is, no matter what we call it, it's part of his daily ritual, not to mention his nightly...
that's some serious dedication to your craft!

and its paying off.
mommy and i get many personal concerts at home and at one recent show i decided to throw something else into the mix that he picked up on like it was...
SECOND NATURE
(http://bit.ly/GZEJdA)

it was definitely time to take the act on the road.
so his full-time aunt and part-time manager, sus, brought him down to washington square park to see if he could draw a crowd.
he started with a very private serenade..


but word spread quickly...


and the inevitable masses followed...


this is aunt sus's description of the scene...
"They were all 2-year-olds and they gathered around him spontaneously and started clapping. It was hilarious and adorable and went on for quite some time. He had also been playing the wandering minstrel, singing as we walked through the park, pausing from time to time whether he had an audience or not. He spread a lot of joy around the neighborhood this morning! People loved it!"

the key words there: "he spread a lot of joy." he's pretty good at that.

oh, and there's one other thing parker delgado havlan has become quite well known for...
his often two-fisted appetite.
(peach pickin' at an orchard up near the lake house. what a life!
and yes, that's peach juice all over his shirt.)

everybody always says "he's such a good eater!" and he is.
he certainly refuses to ever let me finish a smoothie on my own...

but i'm beginning to wonder at what point "wow! he likes mushrooms!" becomes "your kid just ate two-and-a-half pounds of mushrooms and a turkey leg. is he okay?"
the only saving grace is that not all of the food he eats makes it to its...
ACTUAL DESTINATION
(http://bit.ly/H1oSOv)

never too preoccupied to wave to daddy... which is nice.
and for the record, that's uncle alan laughing uncontrollably in the background. he sure does enjoy our little man's antics... which is also nice.

oh!
goodness!
almost forgot!
two things:
1...
we won an emmy!
and no, it doesn't get boring.
especially since this time, we brought our little man along for good luck...
obviously it worked.

and 2...
note ellen's "bump" in photo #1.
that ain't baby fat!
well... actually it kind of is.
for those of you who didn't know it already, our little man is going to be a big brother!
no word yet on if it's a boy or a girl, but ellen is due at the end of february and is feeling and looking great.
by the way, this makes the daily show 2-for-2 when ellen is pregnant.
way to go pregnant ellen!

of course, PD didn't actually come to the ceremony with us, but the next morning he was happy to give his own...
ACCEPTANCE SPEECH
(http://bit.ly/GXkoHZ)

trust me - that was safer than it looked.

and finally, since guitar was the main focus of this episode, and because daddy is a fan of what the kids call "rock and roll", it seems fitting that today's song be the work of the best there ever was...
jimi hendrix: badass.
(and he's a lefty, just like little man!)

actual song choice was hard to narrow down, but i couldn't help but be drawn to one of my personal favorites: "little wing".
i'm including the lyrics, as usual, because i love how whimsical they are, though i can't rightfully condone whatever it is that "inspired" mr. hendrix to come up with them. but this choice is mainly about sound, which hendrix himself explained in an interview: "We put the guitar through the Leslie speaker of an organ, and it sounds like jelly bread, you know?"
actually, no. i don't know. but it sounds awesome/delicious.
dig it...

Well she's walking through the clouds
With a circus mind that's running round
Butterflies and zebras
And moonbeams and fairy tales
That's all she ever thinks about
Riding with the wind.

When I'm sad, she comes to me
With a thousand smiles, she gives to me free
"It's alright", she says. "it's alright"
Take anything you want from me,
Anything.
Fly on little wing

awww yeah...
just like jelly bread, you know?

18 months - frequent flyer

at the unripe young age of not-quite-one-and-a-half-years-old, little PD havlan has already racked up more travel miles than an army brat with a pilot's license. mexico: been there. maine: been there. the moon: not ruling it out. and for the last three months the exploring has continued. basically if you say "marco" our little man has been too far away for you to hear him say "polo". also, he can't say "polo" yet, but we're working on that.

at the beginning of march PD and mommy flew to north carolina to visit our friends, the seilers. mommy doesn't have a camera attached to her hip the way daddy does, so this pic isn't from that trip, but it sure is cute!

read on for the location and thrilling sequel to this picture!

at the beginning of april our superhero and mommy drove to philadelphia to visit mommy's friend margot and her growing brood of human knock-offs. they were joined by the always-great-to-be-around margaret sadovnik and her own beautiful knock-off. so it made perfect sense that they line them all up for some highly competitive... "baby races".

as you can see, PD brought along his game face.

let's go back for a moment to a simpler time... or was it a more difficult time?
whatever.
it was definitely "a time". january, 2010, when aunt pam was kind enough to come to new york to help oversee the origins of our little superhero...

an instant classic!

flash forward to late april, 2011, and it was time for PD to head down to atlanta to pay his own visit. and being as he's a baby and all, he found a way to make it...
ALL ABOUT HIM
(http://bit.ly/GZCve9)

it's not the most exciting video we've ever shot, but it highlights PD's early love of water, shows off his very advanced "regaining your balance" skills, and features none other than the one and only aunt pam.

and the adventures of the traveling poopy pants is not over!

at the beginning of may, mommy and baby once again left daddy behind and flew to jacksonville, florida, to visit mommy's friend kara and her new baby, max. this trip resulted in one of my favorite pictures of the last few months courtesy of the lovely kara scremin who asked for nothing more in return than to be mentioned in the blog. hi kara!

kara sent this picture to me with the caption "how cute is your kid?" i think you know my answer.
and you gotta love how he's rockin' the natural "whale tail" bangs. sweet look.

so what was daddy doing during all these trips? aside from sleeping? and cleaning? and working? and walking charlotte? and watching do-it-yourself home improvement shows on HGTV?
actually, that was about it.

but finally, at the end of may, daddy got to come along for one of the many rides. i was off work for a week and we headed to california to visit the west coast thomases and say happy birthday to kobi...

this was at the oakland zoo waiting to ride the tiger that appears to be attacking them at the moment.

the birthday party was out of this world, mainly in that there was a space theme - including a space shuttle cake, a space shuttle pinata, and what i imagine was a NASA-sized budget. but in a preview of his commitment to fight evil in all its forms, parker was perfectly happy to spend most of his time patrolling the yard for wrongdoers...

this is not the look you want to see on a cop's face. even if that cop is a baby cop!
(idea for screenplay: rookie cop - played by a baby - gets partnered with veteran cop who's one week from retirement. tag line: "sometimes it takes a baby... to make a man". working title: baby cop and tisdale. just brainstorming here, but i'm thinking matt damon as "tisdale".)

but i digress.
after the party, it was off to...

continuing with what we hope will be a lifelong tour of our national parks, we spent three beautiful days in yosemite staying at the yosemite lodge right at the base of yosemite falls where we ate yosemite sandwiches and wiped our faces with yosemite napkins.
(you get the point. basically everything in the park has the word "yosemite" in it.)
everything, that is, except for...

"nevada falls".
who needs a gym when you've got access to a two-and-half hour stairmaster-like hike with a 30-pound baby on board. PD was sleeping in this picture, but he was awake for most of the hiking and seemed to enjoy it, easily keeping pace with his astonishing 99% singing/1% crying backpack ratio.

the top of nevada falls, and yes, we had to walk back down.

mariposa grove. one of many wildly beautiful spots. no books, no CD's, just a natural classroom of colors and textures and sights and sounds.

two giants: one sequoia, one baby.
(guess which "giant" fell on it's face just after this picture was taken.)

and finally...
the thrilling conclusion i promised you!
it pretty accurately sums up yosemite's effect on our general family mood.

seems like time for a song, doesn't it?
today's super tune for a super baby is from a super star with super moves and super grooves.
it's james brown's "super bad", and you have to be super-crazy not to...
dig it.

Sometimes I feel so good
I jump back
I wanna kiss myself
I got soul
and I'm super bad

of course, in this instance the word "bad" means "good"... as was consistent with the cultural vernacular of the time.
long story short, if there's one thing me and mommy agree on - and for the record, there are at least 2 or 3 things - it's that our little superhero is as bad as they get.